The Boyfriend Game

It was one of those days that went by so quick and so dull that you couldn't really even call it a day. A day was something to be taken in, a day was an event meant to be lived and enjoyed. Something you breathed, something you saw, something that would make your heart beat faster. But that day was barely there, just a fast, cold breath in the morning, a nap in seventh period, and then a short review of how you were yelled at, again, in Biology with Jackie in her kitchen, just before her boyfriend would call her and you'd become the forgotten heap in the living room.

She curled up on the couch and pretended to sleep, hoping that in time she would get to that point of unconsciousness while her friend was on the phone, laughing and ending the rest of the day. Unfortunately for her, though, there wasn’t really anything that needed to be done, as if she were motivated enough to do anything productive anyway. She was just left to slosh around in her puddle of humanity and flip through Jackie’s 300 some channels of cable TV before she decided to drag herself to her own house.

Thus was her week, her life, since the whole world had suddenly become so lazy and cold. Blah would certainly be the adjective to describe every event of that week. It was just so bland that she couldn’t even decipher what had happened when and who had said what. She mostly remembered Jackie’s laughter rushing in from the other room, just in time to interrupt her movie.

Thursday the boyfriend made another cameo appearance and she had flashbacks of that party in seventh grade, watching everyone else enjoy themselves and feeling so alienated and ignored that all she wanted to do was run home and hide. However, on Thursday, she did run and hide, she got up and walked off to be alone the park closest to her house. There she reflected, pondered life’s big questions, and came to the conclusion that she was indeed going to feel alienated and that it was one of those things that she should just avoid. She thought that perhaps she was just envious of the fact that Jackie had a boyfriend, and that if she didn’t want to go home every night feeling lonely and tired, then she just shouldn’t leave the house.

She left the house anyway and ended up at the mall with not only Jackie and her boyfriend, but Jackie’s sister and HER boyfriend as well. Tonight, though, she hid behind her video camera. She evaded boredom by putting something in front of her and managed to not look like another boyfriendless dork by turning the other way.

This is your life and you hide from it by standing behind a lense. You go to watch the tape later on; This is your life on film and you’re not in sight.

And the drive home, in order to avoid looking like a lost puppy, she looked out the window, listened to the music, pretend to be enthralled with the world outside of the car, lost in her deep, meaningful thoughts, when in reality all you want to do is open the door and roll out onto the curb of the road. A kind of Dukes of Hazard escape route.


This is your life and you fantasize about jumping out of moving vehicles.
What kind of life is this?

Her eyes wandered, she glanced up and down. Swam through the dark interior of the car and cocked her head to the right. Enter: Jackie and the boyfriend, hunched and slumped all over each other, liked downed angels, picked up and thrown into the car. And this went beyond what they may have been thinking or feeling, the moment couldn’t have even compared to any beautiful song or moment, the world stopped spinning.

This is your life and you haven’t been paying attention to the important details.
This is your life and it’s coming together.
This is your life, so pay attention. And get it together.

Feedback submitted by ANTHONY HULSE at HULSEHULSEY@aol.com on 9th May 2002

This was so moving and I guess this is how numerous girls must feel in their adolescent days. I loved the way she hid behind her camcorders she witnessed her friends experiencing something she had never had. If you could have elaborated on your story a little more maybe we could have discovered the outcome of this girl's life, such as was she suicidal? There were some wonderful phrases such as her puddle of humanity through her eyes. We saw the emotional side of this sad girl and it was well done as I felt for her. Only one quibble for me and that was the sentence containing the word Biology, it seemed a little overlong and did not read right but there again I may be wrong. Anyway, I enjoyed this and look forward to seein more of your work if you post some.
Thank you
Anthony Hulse
(Hulsey)