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Creeping
up from behind
She
sat on the boulder looking out at the ocean. She
was pensive and the sea was unsympathetic to the
weight beneath her thoughts. The waves buffeted
her hopes and took them far beyond the breakers
to swim with the dolphins. In her dreams she
would love to swim with the dolphins.
He was a good man, kind and gentle. She had been
drawn to his shy demeanour, his awkwardness
around women, and his lack of savvy in the
wicked ways of the world. She was amused and
delighted by his clumsy way with words, as he
tripped and stumbled over the cobbled syllables
of the simplest phrases. She smiled as she
remembered telling him that she liked him and
was glad he was her friend, and of how he
muttered and mumbled that he liked her too. She
felt happy as she saw in her memory the fierce
blush that had darkened his cheeks. He hadn't
the slightest notion of how attractive that
spread of colour had appeared to her. Such was
his naivety.
It was this and so much more that had crept up
on her from behind, catching her unawares. How
odd that this man had drawn from her feelings of
tenderness and, yes eventually arousal. He was
so different from the other men in her life, who
were brash and confident. Powerful in their musk
of manhood. With classic looks and hard bodies.
She had been younger then, Slimmer. Less worn by
a world that still had ugliness to show her.
When her insecurity had forced her to probe his
thoughts, he had said that he was unconcerned by
her lack of beauty. She grinned as she had said
it was just as well. Her feelings for him rose
along with her admiration.
They talked everyday, each a rock to support the
other in times of trouble. She was strong. He
was gentle. Both providing the words the other
needed. As their friendship grew they discovered
shared
interests, A love of art, music,
literature. The man and woman harbouring a
desire to be liked and accepted by each other
and the world.
They had come here that day and had sat on the
rock that she now rested on alone. Separately
and together, they sent their dreams out to sea
to swim on the back of dolphins. The dreams
returned to them refreshed.
His hand had rested loosely on his denim clad
knee as they talked of their tomorrows. Made
brave by the swell of the sea, and the romance
of the moment, she took her forefinger and
brushed it gently across the back of his hand.
It was a barely perceptible stroke, Just the
breeze of a caress. His hand went rigid, tensed;
she looked into his eyes, worried at the lack of
response. She was amused to see that he looked
terrified, not repulsed.
“Are you Happy?” She asked, her breath
halted in anticipation of his answer.
“Oh yes”
She relaxed her breathing and smiled at him.
“Come here” he said opening his arms to
allow her within.
She moulded into his big body that she had
always known would be comfortable.
He smelled nice, male with a waft of sea.
She breathed him. Moving closer into the
strength of his arms. Her lips danced lightly
across his neck just below the ear and she
smiled as she felt his breath catch in his
chest.
They stayed like that a little time, each adrift
with their thoughts.
Sitting alone on the rock again she tried to
remember who had broken the magic of the embrace
but all she could remember was moving into a
looser hold and being held by his warm brown
eyes. Those eyes came to her mind again now.
Eyes that were oval portals of perceptive
intelligence. That day all she had seen was her
own reflection moving towards him.
Their mouths met in a kiss that was long and
pleasurable. His hands stroked in rhythmic
circles on her back, hers slid into his
hairline, caressing his head and neck.
It was not the kiss she had intended. She had
wanted their first kiss to be gentle, a mere
brush of her barely parted lips to his. A soft
kiss, perfect in its innocence and simplicity.
All too soon it was time to leave. She kissed
him again as they said their goodbyes.
He was gone, and time shifted its cogs adjusted
its settings and it was as though he had never
been.
Darkness snuffed out the warmth within her. She
could feel it inside her. A tear rolled
unhampered down her cheek.
She
thought back to his frigid hand, stiff and
unyielding beneath her most tender touch. Shame
burned her cheeks as she remembered his blush.
She had mistaken his distaste for a delicious
fear of anticipation, and had taken his disgust
to be the shy sensitivity that had so attracted
her.
She bit down on her lip to hold back a sob, as
she relived the moment he had held his breath
when her lips had touched his neck. Had they
felt like the icy kiss of dread to him?
He had held her and met her kiss firmly; there
was no denying that. Maybe he just wanted to see
if any physical feelings could emerge.
She admired his honesty when he told her that he
hadn’t felt any romantic feelings towards her.
She hated deceit above all else. Yet she had
been all too willing to deceive herself.
She sent out her hopes and dreams to swim with
the dolphins. Her dreams did not return and
rejection crept up from behind. |
