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The
Banquet
The
magnificent sight that greeted me took my breath
away as I followed the long winding driveway.
Langley castle in Northumberland was my
destination, built in the fourteenth century,
the leaflet had said.
I didn’t know quite what to expect; an
invitation from a mysterious host. The invite
had been too tempting and had aroused my
curiosity. Congratulations, the letter had
begun. I looked over the letter with a
suspicious eye; usually anything starting with
congratulations meant dipping onto your pocket,
but this letter was different.
You are invited to a grand evening at Langley
Castle. King Henry V111 has summoned you to his
supreme banquet. I’m afraid the invitation is
for you only, but your attendance will not go
unrewarded. You may find this invitation rather
forward, but all will be revealed on the
evening. Costumes will be provided for the
banquet; all that we require from you is your
presence. I look forward to meeting your
acquaintance; the evening will bring you your
just rewards.
The letter wasn’t signed and I had no inkling
who had sent it, but it was enough to tempt me
to the North-East. The just rewards part had me
hooked. The possibility of a long lost aunt or
uncle wishing to leave me their fortune entered
my greedy thoughts, Christ how I could do with
the money.
Nobody would employ me after the events of the
last year; at just thirty-four, my life lay in
tatters, discarded and branded for something I
was not guilty of. The additional letter I had
received this morning had put me in a joyous
mood. These two letters could possibly change my
life, and my fortune. Perhaps it would be a
happy Christmas after all.
I switched off the window wipers and peered
through my windscreen at the smattering of snow
and the splendid structure with it’s white
walls, and numerous towers. I attempted to count
the arched windows but gave up at thirty.
My battered old Escort looked so out of place in
the presence of such grandeur as I eyed the
other swish vehicles. I exited my vehicle and
ran, collar up towards the main entrance. A
doorman greeted me and took my invitation card
before showing me to the welcoming panelled bar.
The light-hearted conversations were in full
swing and nobody seemed to notice me. I ordered
my expensive beer and shuffled over to the open
fireplace where a roaring fire was most
welcoming considering the freezing conditions
outside.
My eyes scanned the lavishly decorated room,
with umpteen portraits of the castle occupying
the wooden panelled walls. The Christmas music
was playing gently as my eyes searched for a
familiar face but was disappointed.
“Mr Fallon,” said a voice behind me.
“Yes, I’m Fallon.”
I faced a short wiry fellow in a tuxedo. I
immediately felt out of place and as his eyes
looked me up and down I think he agreed with me.
My blue suit was three years old but I only ever
wore it for occasions such as weddings. Shorty
didn’t seem too impressed.
“I’m George; it is I who sent you the
letter.”
Shorty resembled a weasel on heat. “George,
why’ve I received this invitation?”
“Why indeed, all will be revealed in time. It
adds a hint of mystery to the occasion don’t
you think?”
“Yes but...”
“Let me introduce you to some of the
guests.”
He ushered me over to three people whispering
among themselves. Two men and a lady.
“Excuse me, this is Robert Fallon. Robert,
this is Tanya Jarvis, Victor Dupont, and David
Palmer.”
We exchanged handshakes; they looked just as
bemused as I was.
“I must leave you now; I’ll be back shortly
for the commencement of the Kings banquet.”
“What a strange man,” mouthed Tanya,
stirring her cocktail.
She was not a bad looking woman, probably in her
thirties, and single judging by the absence of a
wedding ring. She had long blonde hair,
undoubtedly dyed judging by the visible black
roots. She had striking green eyes; I had not
met anyone with green eyes before. She wore a
little too much mascara, and her perfume was
strong and irritating to my delicate nose. She
had a long thin nose, the only feature stopping
her from being classed in the beautiful bracket.
“I suppose you received a letter too did
you?”
It was the obese Victor Dupont who spoke. He was
an unattractive man, his few strands of hair
were combed across his head, in fact I swear
they were glued on. His thick lips and treble
chin reminded me of the great Charles Laughton
in Mutiny on the Bounty. He was nibbling on some
salted peanuts as he awaited my answer.
“Yes, in fact I did.”
“What’s it all about?” Asked David Palmer,
who looked to me like the original train
spotter. His thick spectacles and poor excuse
for a moustache, along with his curly grey
unkempt hair sparked a hint of recognition
inside me. He seemed disturbed at my staring, as
I rankled my brain trying to think where I’d
seen him before.
“It beats me, but it’s free and I intend to
make the best of it.”
“Here here,” said Tanya.
The more I looked at her, the more attractive
she was becoming, and judging by her actions,
she had been drinking before she arrived at the
castle. My mind was definitely on the treble,
the competition was feeble. She couldn’t
possibly fancy twit and twat. After all, I have
been told quite often how good looking I am.
The weasel returned and we were led to separate
changing rooms as we changed into our costumes
for the night. I felt such a prat as I
re-entered the bar. My shame was soon abated as
I realised everyone looked just as stupid.
I had on a white blousy type shirt with puffed
sleeves. A rust coloured vest and tight brown
pants completed the transformation. We were able
to keep our own shoes on, which was a great
relief.
I let out a girlish like giggle as Dupont
emerged dressed in a monk’s habit; he reminded
me of Friar Tuck. Palmer was dressed similarly
to me but only in green. My eyes nearly popped
out of their sockets as the lovely Tanya joined
us. I hadn’t noticed her cleavage earlier, but
I certainly did now. She was wearing a low-cut
bodice, a long flowing cream dress, and a
sky-blue surcoat with matching headdress.
The weasel clapped his hands and the numerous
guests made their way into the banqueting hall.
The numerous flickering torches caught my
attention and the enormous open blazing log
fire. The flames reflected onto the marvellous
stain-glass windows. Medieval music accompanied
us as we followed the line, walking past the
long wooden tables adorned with iron
candlesticks.
Finally we halted and stood at our designated
places; I was delighted to be seated next to
Tanya, but not so elated as Friar Tuck sat the
other side of me. The aroma of food from the
kitchens reached our nostrils.
The music stopped and two trumpeters blew a loud
fanfare as a man dressed as King Henry V111
climbed onto the stage accompanied by his Queen.
The fanfare stopped as the king stood facing his
guests.
“Good morrow to ye all and welcome to the
kings banquet. Tis a merry occasion, tonight ye
will be entertained by the Kings own performers;
ye will witness the roaming minstrels, the
jugglers, jesters and so much more. Ye are free
to dance after the festivities. Raise yon
goblets ladies and gentlemen and drink to your
king.”
Again I thought I’d seen this man before. Of
course it was difficult to say, with his mock
beard and the padding, but I’d swear that
we’d met before.
“Eat, drink, and be merry!” He bellowed.
The serving wenches poured out our mead and wine
as the juggler took to the stage. The minstrels
playing in the background their citterns,
recorders and mandolins. I felt Tanya’s leg
touching mine and my loins stirred.
Within minutes we were served a splendid soup
with a blend of fresh vegetables with a splash
of cream, sprinkled with herbs. The main course
followed; prime sirloin of beef in rich red
wine, and horseradish sauce, breast of chicken
roasted and served with fresh asparagus, with a
mushroom and rosemary sauce. Pot roast lamb,
deuce of salmon poached in white wine, served
with watercress sauce. Roast turkey with apricot
stuffing; roast potatoes with garlic and herbs.
This was indeed a feast fit for a king.
I opted for the chicken and beef, which was
delicious. Dupont I swear, must have sampled the
lot. I watched in disgust as he wolfed down the
food, a chicken leg in each hand, the grease
dripping from his slobbering lips. I turned to
Tanya who was smiling the way girls smile, the
take me to bed smile.
Every time our glasses were emptied of mead or
wine, the serving wenches promptly refilled
them. The latest offering of mead tasted bitter,
Tanya agreed with me but we put it down to the
spicy food and garlic we had devoured.
I wished I had left some room for the delicious
dessert of honeydew lemon and prawns, brandy
snap baskets with fresh strawberries, summer
pudding, and protiferoles with hot chocolate
sauce. Dupont certainly had.
Tanya’s hand had wandered to my leg; my first
instinct was to remove it, but what the heck. My
divorce had come through and I had no ties.
A wandering minstrel dressed in red and white
checks took to the floor and sang ballads as he
walked among the guests, accompanied by a piper
and a mandolin playing man.
I looked to the King and Queen; they were
looking towards us and were whispering. I held
his stare and he smiled. I was bursting with
curiosity. Who was he and why were we here?
Tanya was by now nibbling my ear, judging by her
gaze, she had gone.
The minstrel faced Dupont and began to sing.
“They called her plain Jane,
Until she was slain,
The culprit being the clown,
Stuffed down a drain,
Without her mane,
Little Jane was cut down.”
Dupont dropped his chicken leg to the ground and
turned red.
“What is this?”
The minstrel then turned to me.
“I’ll sing you a tale,
Of evil and woe,
On his way to school, was little Joe,
All that was found was his bloody coat,
His bastard tormentor had cut his throat.”
I must admit, I lost it at that stage. I stood
up and looked to the King.
“You’ve got it all wrong!”
The King clapped his hands and the minstrel
faced the drunken Tanya, lighting a cigarette.
“At twelve-years old,
With hair of gold,
Ann was the perfect daughter,
And now she lay cold,
For Ann the bell tolled,
As she lay beneath the water.”
The tears rolled down Tanya’s cheeks, her lips
trembling as she mumbled,
“I didn’t kill her; I was cleared wasn’t
I? I loved my daughter.”
The minstrel approached Palmer who was by now
perspiring heavily, dabbing his face with his
handkerchief.
“Gentle young Ted,
A six-year-old child,
Beaten and badly defiled,
You cut off his head,
And now he lay dead,
Somewhere out in the wild.”
“This is a sick joke right? I don’t have to
put up with this. I’m out of here.”
“Sit down Palmer,” boomed the King.
The room was silent; all that could be heard was
the cracking of the fire. The shadows of the
flickering flames dancing on the walls.
“You still don’t know who I am do you?”
The voice registered now.
“Jeremy Granville right?”
“Well-done Mr Fallon; I admire your powers of
observation.”
“It was the turn that gave it away. I must say
he sang well but I’d sack the lyricist.”
“The ballads served their purpose don’t you
think?”
Tanya was now sobbing.
Granville rose. “Why are you here? I’m sure
you’re dying to find out. Have a look around
the room; recognise anyone? You should do. All
of the guests here are relatives of the children
you callously murdered.”
Dupont stood up; he cut a comical figure in his
monk’s habit.
“But Granville, you defended me. You got me
off remember. In the public’s eye I’m
innocent.”
“True, I defended you as I defended the
others. You all only got off as you put it
because of my skills in the courtroom. After
your trial Dupont, I started having nightmares.
I kept seeing the face of Jane; her agile body
stuffed down that drain. She trusted you, the
friendly funny clown. Only you strangled her
didn’t you?”
“You tell me Granville, you defended me?”
“Oh you done it alright, the evidence after
the trial pointed to you only it was too late by
then, as you couldn’t be tried for the murder
twice.”
“I loved my daughter Granville, everyone knows
I did,” said Tanya stubbing out her cigarette.
“When you were sober I believe you did Tanya;
but in drink, you were a monster who continually
beat your daughter. Only one night you went too
far didn’t you? You hit her so hard she fell
down the stairs and died. You then hid her body
in a lake, only she surfaced the next morning.
My skills again got you off. Ann also visits my
dreams regularly. You see, I developed a
conscience; not an asset for a solicitor would
you say?”
“You’re mad Granville,” yelled Palmer.
“I’m mad? No Mr Palmer, it’s not me
who’s mad. It was not I who sexually assaulted
young Ted in the woods that night. And if that
wasn’t enough, you cut off his head with an
axe. You know I hate myself, I lay awake
thinking over the events of each trial. To think
you four are only here because of me.”
“Finally we come to Mr Fallon; if it’s any
consolation, I really did think you were
innocent.”
“But I am innocent.”
“Silence! Let me finish. Poor Joe, he made the
mistake of his life taking the short cut to
school through the woods didn’t he? Who should
he venture upon but Mr Fallon? You sexually
abused the child before cutting his throat. His
body was found two weeks later two miles away
from your house. Witnesses stated and swore that
your car was seen on the edge of the woods that
day. Also one of your kitchen knives was
missing. Again, I saved you from a certain life
sentence.”
“Wait a fucking moment, who made you God,
judge and executioner? I’ve told you I’m
innocent and now I can finally prove it. Do you
think I’ve been on holiday since my trial?
I’ve been beaten, spat upon, whispered about.
My wife even doubted my innocence and left me.
She had to revert back to her maiden name along
with my children. I was turned away from job
interviews time and time again. Oh yes Mr
fucking Granville; I’ve been serving a life
sentence alright. But not anymore; this morning
I received a le...”
“Enough! I heard your pleading in the court.
My Queen, would you kindly reveal yourself
please?“
She removed her wig and Joe’s mother faced me.
“You will get your come-uppence Robert Fallon.
My Joe’s death has been avenged.”
What she meant by that last statement I was
about to find out.
“And now you must wonder why I’ve brought
you all here. Well let me explain. As I’ve
already stated, my conscience troubled me
greatly. I decided I could no longer defend
child-killers so I called it a day. The images
of those four children haunted me; they seemed
to be calling out to me to do something; so I
have. Your greed and curiosity brought you here.
As far as the outside world knows; this banquet
today never took place. You see the owner of
Langley Castle is a lifelong friend of mine. He
kindly let me use the castle free of charge of
course apart from the food and drink, which the
relatives of your victims kindly donated.”
The hoards of relatives rose to their feet and
surrounded us.
“You see, when your bodies are found many
miles away from here, there will be no
connection with this castle. Every person in
this room has a cast iron alibi.”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Said
Dupont, the perspiration making his fallow skin
glisten.
“And what is that my fat friend?”
“My mother, and no doubt relatives of the
others knew where I was going. You see, you
can’t kill me.”
“Oh no? What does your mother know? You have
had a strange invite to a medieval banquet. As I
said, there will be no recording of this event.
There will be no evidence here to say you ever
came to Langley Castle. Your cars will be
removed and dumped many miles away from here.”
“So what’re you waiting for Granville?”
Shouted Palmer.
“Waiting for? Why nothing; you’re already
dead, the four of you.”
I stood up.
“Meaning what Granville?”
“The mead was delicious don’t you think?
Especially with the touch of arsenic.”
Dupont held his vast neck, putting his fingers
down his throat and vomiting onto the table.
“My my, what an animal. It won’t do you any
good. 130-195 milligrams of arsenic is enough to
kill a man, or a woman. How do you feel, have
you got a sore throat yet? What about your
stomach? It’s only a matter of time before you
develop excruciating abdominal pains, nausea,
vomiting and diarrhoea. Total collapse and a
convulsive death will occur within hours, given
the amount you were given. A slow agonising
death I’m afraid.”
Tanya didn’t appear to have taken any of this
in; she just stared as if in a trance, grief is
certainly a cure for alcohol abuse. I couldn’t
help but laugh as I felt the pain in my stomach.
“Laughter in death, I admire your courage
Fallon.”
I looked across at the comical sight of Dupont
vomiting, and of Palmer rinsing his mouth out
with wine whilst clutching his stomach.
“I’m laughing at you Granville; you’ve
turned into one of them. You’re a murderer.”
“Murderer? Let’s call it an execution shall
we.”
“You don’t understand do you? I’m fucking
innocent. I received a letter this morning; the
man who killed Joe has been caught after
attempting to stab another young boy. He has
admitted to killing Joe!”
“Nonsense; a plea from a condemned man.”
“I’m certain if you check the news you’ll
see for yourself.”
Granville’s eyes bulged as he gripped the arms
of his throne. Joe’s mother put her hand to
her mouth; a look of horror adorned her
features.
“What have we done? We must get him to a
doctor.”
The mutterings around the room fell silent as
firstly Dupont, and then Tanya fell to the
floor, clutching their stomachs. Palmer was
weeping as he plied more and more wine down his
throat. The stench of human waste filled the
room, the back of Palmers tight pants were
brown.
I felt a burning sensation in my throat and
grabbed for the wine. It was no good; the pain
in my stomach was now unbearable as I rolled
about on the floor. I felt the wetness in the
seat of my trousers. Granville and his
companions tried to console me. I remember being
carried out of the castle; the cold air of the
freezing evening comforted me some. I vomited
violently and remember being put into the back
of a car. Then I blacked out.
I was in hospital for two weeks before they
released me. I was told time and time again how
lucky I was to survive. Someone had brought me
to the hospital and told the duty nurse that I
had arsenic poisoning. Because they knew
immediately what my symptoms were, they were
able to pump my stomach and save me. Questions
were asked why I was wearing such strange
clothes and where had I acquired the arsenic?
The poison probably affected my memory I told
them, and couldn’t recall any of it.
I read the newspapers and nothing was mentioned
of the three child-killers. My first thoughts
were to go to the police and then I
reconsidered. I decided against it; after all, I
too have a conscience. |
