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Writer :  Mike Tweddle
Contact Writer at : mike.tweddle@durham.gov.uk
Location : Darlington, UK
Received : 20/04/2002

Humdinger

CHAPTER ONE

Hiring the scooters had been the easy bit. They had seen the little, 125cc Malaguttis outside a small hire shop in a busy side street, somewhere near the Vatican and had immediately decided that an improvised trip around the ancient city of Rome would be of great cultural benefit to the both of them. And besides, it would be one hell of a laugh. In fact the little guy in the scooter shop was more than pleased to hire out his scooters to two such prominent members of the Roma football squad.

Günter Frostrad, a highly respected central midfielder, could not help but be carried away on the wave of enthusiasm generated by his team-mate. That team-mate was regarded as one of the world’s greatest midfield players, but the Englishman was sometimes more renowned for his crazy antics than his sublime football skills.

So, hire the scooters they did, and of course the first port of call was the first of many cafes, where they proceeded to drink bottled lager and some of Italy’s finer examples of Frascati. Riding a rapid, light scooter and drinking vast amounts of alcohol were not what Günter considered to be a healthy mix, but by the early hours he no longer cared. He was in the company of the craziest man he had ever met, and just hoped he could survive the evening.

Several blurred hours later, as they crossed the Ponte Sant Angelo bridge, Günter suddenly felt himself stamping hard on the brakes as his colleague stopped by the side of the road to talk to a group of gorgeous Italian babes. Günter was happily married and decided that, whatever happened tonight, he would not be led astray; but he knew that in the age old Italian tradition of chaperoning, his team-mate would need some stern supervision. But before he had chance to advise him, Günter was momentarily knocked off balance as his heavily inebriated friend sped past him, the long dark hair of one of the girls flowing behind him in the wind, as she sat on the Malagutti’s pillion seat. Günter decided to at least try and keep them in sight, if nothing else; then he would at least know where to find him in the morning when they would be expected to turn up for training. But soon the pace had increased to such a reckless speed, through the busy, narrow streets, that Günter felt himself losing track. He slackened off the throttle.

It was only as he turned the corner and found himself facing the Trevi Fountain and a crowd of eager tourists, that Günter realised that things had finally got way out of hand. Although he could see the crumpled wreck of the scooter, which had smashed into the small wall at the base of the fountain, there was no sign of the passengers. Closer inspection soon revealed the squirming body of his friend. He was holding his knee, which had sustained an injury serious enough to position it at 90 degrees to its normal position. But where was the girl? There was simply no sign of her. Günter was suddenly very sober and concerned for her welfare. And then he saw the bedraggled passenger stepping from the water of the Trevi, and the truth was plain to see. The force of being thrown head first into the water at a speed in excess of 40 miles per hour had, fortunately, done little physical damage to the passenger. But the impact had ripped what little clothes she had been wearing completely away.

It was at that moment that the world famous English midfielder began to scream, not with the agony of his busted knee, but because at least a dozen ecstatic tourists were clicking away with their cameras at the leggy transvestite who, just seconds previously, had been the glamorous pillion passenger. He stepped from the waters and attempted to console the footballer who, despite his agony, made a brave attempt to escape the unwanted attention. Even the figure of the mighty Neptune seemed to be looking down from the fountain with a mocking grin spread across his face.

                    "Archie, are you out of the pit that you call a bed yet?"

"Ay Mam, of course I bleeding am." Archie pulled the duvet over his throbbing head, trying to block out his Mother’s piercing voice, but more importantly trying to eradicate the vivid flashback to the incident in Rome, some four years ago, that still haunted him. He closed his eyes and tried to relive his favourite, and most pleasurable dream. He was Captain Scabies, king of the pirates and ruler of the waves. He took no prisoners and had the beautiful Ruby to share his every adventure. But it was no good; any hope of fleeting escapism was gone.

He often wondered if it had been a good idea to move his Mother into his luxury penthouse apartment, instead of leaving her back at the family home in Leeds. He wondered, on a more frequent basis, about his decision to allow his two best mates from Yorkshire, namely Gaggie and Parkie, to also share his abode! Fortunately the huge flat was big enough to avoid them, whenever it was deemed necessary. Although his manager and chairman might suggest that he didn’t avoid them enough!

As Archie lay there various flashbacks from the previous evening began to flood back, until, one by one, the pieces were added and the whole horrible jigsaw had been completed. Archie pulled the duvet over his head, hoping that it might possess magical powers, and that it would be possible for the memory of last night to be wiped out. It wasn't!

He could not recall exactly how many pubs in downtown Newcastle they had visited but remembered the MirrorBall Nightclub with vivid clarity. It was there that he had met the woman he would eventually spend the night with. What was her name? Nancy seemed horribly familiar. From there on, the rest of the night was a nightmarish blur of strange faces and stranger places. He did remember waking up sometime in the mornings early hours. Nancy was naked, and for some reason seemed to be bouncing up and down on him. They were actually having sex, but how was that possible? Surely he had been unconscious? He felt a little glow of pride, and congratulated himself on being capable of shagging while asleep. And then Archie had felt the nausea kicking in and he began to groan. Nancy looked down at him and smiled, but as he sprayed the combined juices of Guinness, Lager, various spirits and Indian cuisine over her, she felt her own nausea rising.

Archie remembered in all it’s Technicolor beauty, the scene as the two of them sat on the bed, stark naked, wiping each other’s puke off one another. Bobby "Archie" Archibald, a footballer who had cost over £150 million in transfer fees alone, was a mess; he just hoped that this story never got out. The press would destroy him. They were just waiting for a story like this, and the way his career and marriage problems were going at the moment it could be the final nail in the Bobby Archibald story.

* * * * * * *

He wished that he had turned back when he had the chance. He could have taken the easy option, and simply have driven on. But he couldn't. How could he? She had meant so much, that to resist the chance to help her, when she was in trouble, was something he could not contemplate. Danny found reverse, smoothly engaged it, and returned to the large town house that he had just passed. He parked the gleaming, black Audi TT on the road outside, and gave it a loving slap on the roof. The beautiful sports car had been a bonus to himself due to the success of his last case, and that success had been long overdue. He sat on the bonnet so that he could view the house; memories started flooding back.

Six years. Christ, was it really that long? Had it really been that long since Izzy had told him she was leaving to go off to college? Six years since he had even spoken to her, never mind seen her. Even her letters had stopped after a few months. He had been surprised at the way they had just come to a sudden halt, as if something had happened to Izzy. But he realised it was because she just wanted to cut herself off from him. Had she found someone else? Got married? Had Kids? He suspected that it would take a very strong character to shackle Izzy down to a life of suburbia and school runs. Danny himself, had had a few short-term relationships since Izzy, but he had never managed to shake the ghost of her from his mind. Inevitably those relationships had all suffered as a consequence. Danny smirked, recalling the occasion when, after a dozen, or so, tequila slammers, he had called out Izzy’s name in the middle of a delicate sexual moment. Needless to say, his girlfriend of the time- Susan had left him the next day.

Instead Danny Keally had thrown himself whole-heartedly into his work. He soon found the dividends paying off, when he was employed by a government minister to carry out surveillance work for him. Not to check on a terrorist suspect, or drug cartel, but on his daughter's boyfriend who the Minister suspected was a low-life petty criminal and hard drug user. In fact the boy turned out to be nothing worse than an under age cider drinker, whose only crime was that he couldn't hold his drink! At least this contact had soon led to bigger and more complex work, and Danny eventually managed to put Izzy to the back of his mind. But her memory had never completely been erased.

He looked at the house, where Izzy had once lived, and realised he was no longer overawed by it. It was a Gothic style house, its stonework a pale, washed pink, its windows embellished by ornate shutters. It certainly dominated the tree-lined avenue but it now seemed ostentatious. It felt very strange to be back here after all these years and he would never have even considered it, were it not for the message he had received on his answering machine from Izzy’s mother.

"Daniel Keally, this is Helen Sinclair. As I suspected you are still working as a private detective after all these years, I always thought you were a waste of space. Well, I may have a job for you. I need your professional assistance. Call at the house tomorrow afternoon." Helen’s attitude, as ever, was cold and sarcastic.

Danny didn’t take it personally, as he would have done some years ago. He realised how bitter and twisted Helen had always been. He knew enough about Helen Sinclair to understand that something extraordinary must have happened for her to turn to him for help. Curiosity had compelled him to answer her summons.

But any trepidation he felt was not for Izzy’s mother. The ball of fear in Danny’s stomach was due to his overwhelming fear that he might bump into Izzy herself. What would he say? How would she look? Would it be awkward? Of course it would be. Bracing himself, he rang the large brass doorbell. He waited. No reply. He rang it again. Still no reply. He knew that the house had a huge conservatory at the rear and since it was a sunny afternoon, he wondered if Helen could be back there. He made his way to the back of the house, and then looked nervously through one of the glass panels of the conservatory door.

"My God, you look even more like council estate rubbish than you did all those years ago."

Danny swung around, to be confronted by the sight of Helen, clearly drunk, lying in a hammock tied between two small apple trees.

"And it is so nice to see you too, Helen, " he said with little emotion. She had aged considerably since the last time that they had met. She had once been a strikingly good-looking woman, although Izzy had inherited and improved upon the original. Their personalities, however, were thankfully completely different.

"Well, well, well, the one and only Daniel Keally. Come here. Let me have a good look at you, my boy."

As Danny walked towards her, he realised just how haggard she had become. Her arms and neck were heavily wrinkled, although her face was surprisingly free of creases. Plastic surgery possibly? She could afford it and besides it looked like her skin was so tight, that she was having trouble blinking; a sure sign of the surgeon of vanity’s handiwork.

"Care for a drink, my darling?" spluttered Helen. Danny nearly keeled over, as her odious breath hit him like a toxic sledgehammer. "Aren’t you a bit over the top, for one o' clock in the afternoon?"

Helen’s eyes narrowed. "Just what the hell do you know, you piece of shit? I have picked up better than you in my poodle’s poop scoop."

Danny didn’t even blink. Helen’s poison invective no longer had the power to wound him. "Could you just tell me why you’ve asked me here? I get the feeling that its nothing to do with discussing the latest stock prices, or to ask me if I have taken up polo yet."

Helen was crying now. She had always been rather unstable and the odd bout of tears was never far away. As she went to wipe the black, mascara stained tears away from her cheek, she lost her balance and fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. Danny sighed then went to pick her up. He was surprised to realise that he actually had some sympathy for the old witch. More importantly, it was obvious that something was desperately wrong.

"Get off me, you idiot, I am just a little under the weather, that’s all." Helen stood up and dusted herself down. Sitting back on the hammock, she buried her head in her hands.

Danny was tempted to leave her to it but gut instinct told him that something was very wrong. "Come on Helen, who are you trying to kid? You're a real mess. Lets get you inside and get the kettle on the go. After all, the last thing you want is for the neighbours to see you like this."

"Oh fuck the neighbours! They will love every minute of this. They have waited years to see me crack up, and now I am really going to give them a show they will not forget in a hurry."

With this, Helen, threw away the glass she was holding in her hand, and started to unbutton her dress.

Danny didn’t know whether to laugh, or feel sorry for her. Personally he didn’t give a damn if she wanted to show her wrinkled old arse to the world. But first he had to make her explain the message she had left on his answering machine.

"Bloody hell Helen, this isn’t the solution." Danny went to grab her but before he had the chance, her eyes rolled upwards and she fell to the floor, in a state of drunken unconsciousness.

"Oh bloody fantastic," he cursed aloud. How the hell had he got into this? He would have to get her inside and stick her in bed, to allow her to sleep it off. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and started to pull her to her feet.

"Its okay, Danny, I’ll give you a hand with her." The husky female voice was familiar.

Danny’s heart missed a beat. He turned around and looked up to find Rachel, Izzy's younger sister, watching him. He recognised her instantly, but she looked very different to the last time he had seen here. Almost effortlessly, as if she had done it a thousand times before, she hoisted Helen back to her feet.

Within half an hour, they had got Helen into bed and cleaned up the trail of puke that she had left behind. That done, they retired to the kitchen and sat down at the enormous oak table.

"I can’t believe its you, Danny. How long has it been, five, six years?"

"Six years," he replied, looking at her more closely. Was this really the scrawny little brat that he last seen all those years ago? Back then she had been a hormonally challenged, sixteen year old, who seemingly detested Danny, as much as her mother did, if not more. And the feeling had been mutual; Danny could not stand to be in the same room as her. But the Rachel that sat before him now had metamorphosed, from a skinny, buck-toothed teenager, into a beautiful young woman.

"I’m sorry about Mother. She’s not been the same since Father left her."

"Don’t worry about it, Rachel. I’ve seen a lot worse over the years, believe me." Danny felt sorry for her, something he thought he would never have done the last time they had met.

"What’s your poison? Coffee, tea, something stronger - although after seeing Mother in that condition, you might want to give the bottle of toilet cleaner a miss?"

Danny smirked; at least she had developed a sense of humour. "Yeah, coffee would be fine, Rachel. So, what have you been up to? Still in love with Jason Donovan?"

"Well, Jason went off to be a sexually challenged, coke snorting drag queen in the Rocky Horror Show, leaving me to finish school and start my own business."

"Mmm, somehow I never imagined you as the business type. I always expected you to be lost in the magical world of academia, studying to be a professor of origami or something." Danny could not resist teasing her.

Rachel resisted the bait. "It did cross my mind. My parents both wanted me to go to university, especially after what happened to Izzy, but I was always good with computers and decided to just go for it. So now I’m running my own business, selling computer systems to such clients as city bankers and entertainment companies, and it pays well. Well enough for me to have my own cottage by the time I was twenty."

He heard the pride in her voice and Danny was impressed by her enthusiasm. "Good for you, Rachel! I’m still living in that knackered old ice cream warehouse, which doubles up as my office. At least I can pride myself on the fact that I own it now, rather than renting it from that old bastard of a landlord. I guess that the life I have led over the past years means that I haven't had chance to allow middle aged comfort to kick in just yet!"

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Too much sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll?"

Danny smiled. "At the moment I would be happy with the rock ‘n roll."

"Yeah, I know the feeling. Business is so good at the moment, that I haven’t had a good shag for bloody ages," she said, with a mischievous smile on her face. She was watching him closely, wanting him to be shocked by her words.

He stifled a laugh and answered with a straight face. "Yeah, well, when you’re a private dick, working the most ridiculous and unsocial hours possible, it does affect your love life."

"Never mind. Mother always did say you were a bit of a wanker."

Now Danny chuckled aloud. "Ah yes, but now the very same woman who used to laugh herself silly, when I told her what my job was, actually wants to hire me. Now that’s a fine bit of irony."

Rachel sighed. "I wish I could join in with the joke, Danny, I really do, but the reason that Mother wants to hire you is to find Izzy. She's in trouble."

Danny’s heart sank. "What kind of trouble? The last time I saw her she was on her way to study geology in Wales. Surely playing with rocks isn’t that dangerous, is it?"

"God, how I wish she was studying rock formations, in some beautiful little backwater. But she never even finished the course. She disappeared and we never heard from her again."

Danny stared at her in disbelief, and then asked, "Why the hell didn’t you contact the police, or tell me sooner? I might have been able to help find her before now." The controlled anger was plain to hear in his voice.

Rachel look towards him, the guilt suddenly felt overwhelming. "When she disappeared she phoned mother and then me. She told the both of us that she intended to go away for a long time; that something unexpected had happened. She told us how she loved us both, but under no circumstances were we to contact the police. The selfish bitch never thought about anyone else but herself." Now it was Rachel’s turn to put her head in her hands.

Danny felt decidedly awkward. Should he reach out and place a comforting hand on her shoulder? Should he just sit there and pretend that everything was normal? There was no need for him to make a decision, for the difficult moment was broken, by the sound of Helen’s voice.

"Yes my dear Rachel, you are so right. Isabelle never thought about anyone but herself and that is why you are here today, Danny. She is in great danger and that is why we need your help." Helen had wrapped a thick tartan blanket around herself, and looked like death warmed up, even her voice seemed to come from beyond the grave.

But Danny did not see Helen’s terrible state. His mind was mulling over various scenarios that could explain Izzy’s disappearance. He tried to push the worst of them to the back of his mind.

Helen rubbed her aching head. "We have had some news of Isabelle’s whereabouts. But it was not through any direct contact from her, it was from a friend of mine, who is a production assistant for a television company. They have been working on a documentary called Death of a Generation and it is due to be screened in two weeks time."

Danny frowned with confusion. "How is this relevant to me being here?"

"Believe me young Mr. Keally, you will soon see the relevance."

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